My name is Juraj and I live in a small city in Croatia. I have suffered both from obsessive compulsive disorder ( OCD ) and social phobia for 9 long years. My disturbances began at the age of 12 and they manifested primary through having the need to count everything to 5 and being obsessed with symmetry. I found it very disturbing when something was asymmetric,for instance cd-s on a shelf had to be neatly lined and in perfect order.

Entering high school period I became more and more introverted,I blushed infront of strangers and what was really interesting is that I blushed even more infront of people I knew like family and friends. If I would have met a friend from school on the street I would have started blushing,my hands would start sweating and I couldn’t say anything. My speaking abilities were paralized and I would have been so confused and ended up saying something stupid,which made me feel even more uncomfortable.

I had a general anxiety disorder ( GAD ) and I was in a constant fear of people. I couldn’t make eye to eye contact or walk down the street with my head high facing strangers and I remember I was always happy when it rained because then I could just hide under my umbrella not being forced to look at anyone. I was also depending on my bicycle a lot because that was the other way of avoiding people. I could just ride fast through the streets and not make contact with anyone.
I couldn’t drink or eat infront of people either,and it was even hard to order a cup of coffee.

I couldn’t say no to anyone. I wasn’t even able to,for example,ask my sister to pass me the remote control. I had to get up and get it myself although she wouldn’t mind at all passing it to me. I just couldn’t make any requests to anyone and I couldn’t say no when someone wanted something from me.
On my way home from school I often stopped at the near by store and bought beer hoping that it would ease down the fear. I also tried to find comfort in marijuana cause I thought it would maybe be easier to encounter and talk to people if I was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. On my way home from school I started discovering different streets and passages that were more void and empty so the chances of encountering someone were fairly low,although those were often miles longer ways of getting home.

Finally at the age of 19 I asked myself : am I the only man in the world with this problem? Couldn’t there be at least a few more people who have the same symptoms as me? Does this disorder have a name?
Quickly after that I found a columne in the magazine where doctors answer various questions. A letter written by one particular reader quickly caught my eye. He was describing the exact same problems I’ve been experiencing, and reading the doctors reply I finally got an answer,my disorder had a name and it was called social phobia.

Soon after that I googled the term and found out that there were many people out there who have the same problem and who suffer from the same disorder.
I contacted a personal psychiatrist I found in the yellow pages and made an appointement. When I described my problems to her she insisted on giving me the maximum dose of Prozac,60 mg per day cause she found it important to deal with the obsessive compulsive disorder ( OCD ) first. Prozac helped with OCD but the anxiety was still there and highly expressed. I tried many sorts of medicines from Zoloft,Xanax,Prozac to Zyprexe and Eglonyl. Nothing helped me with my social phobia. Finally I decided to find out by myself which treatment would be the best and most effective with my disorder. From many reliable sources I heard that the best combination for social phobia is the medicine Seroxat combined with Clonazepam. I found the psychiatrist who prescribed me those meds and after two years of being mistreated I have finally found the cure.

After four months of therapy and avoiding alcohol which was my number one mistake I started noticing considerable changes. I did’t blush infront of people as much as I used to,it wasn’t hard for me to ask the waiter to bring me a cup of coffee,I even walked down the street facing peole and making eye contact and my arms weren’t sweating any more and I did’t feel like I was gonna faint. At the moment I am still using this therapy ( 40 mg of Seroxat and 1,5 mg of Clonazepam in the morning and in the evening ) and I plan to continue using it for another couple of years. Now I can say that I don’t suffer from social phobia although I am still experiencing some disturbances caused by my OCD. That doesn’t bother me that much because I am so happy I got rid of the social phobia and all the nuisances caused by it.

The only side effects of the meds I am using are reduced libido and mild fatigue but it’s a small price to pay for being able to walk down the street and make eye contact with human beings. Now my life goal is to help people who suffer from the same disorder and to possibly open a clinic for treating social phobia and OCD since there isn’t a single place in Croatia where people can get information about these disorders.

My blog is on http://its-only-rock-and-roll-but-i-like-it.blogspot.com/